So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
No subtext here. People are naked.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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