Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
