Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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