he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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