Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
