nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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