Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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