your room smells of hookers.
And success
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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