It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
