apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
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