I got chris browned last night
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
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