Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
