This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
