that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
