and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I feel like death gave me a hand job
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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