I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
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You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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