Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize