I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
