do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
