that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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