Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
