their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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