So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
two words...techno handjob
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
