HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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