Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
