so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize