theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
