Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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