You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
