i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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