The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize