There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
