Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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