I think I died a long time ago.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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