Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
