gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I will pee on everything he values.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
