apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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