We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
