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Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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