the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
