Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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