For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
