I am in a vortex of obligation.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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