The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize