Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
you have to choose: penises or morals?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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