My friends, they love my intelligence
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
