Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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