If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
