i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
