Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
