I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
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Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
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I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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