so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
