Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
