That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
