Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
