i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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