i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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