in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize