so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
