Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
PANTIES FOUND
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
