dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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