I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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