don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize