This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
