man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
