you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
